Another Year, Another Self-Reminder: My 2015 Lesson

Last month I wrote about how does each of us measure our success(How Do You Measure Success?) I am glad that a few people expressed their thoughts about it. One night, it was a quiet contemplation as I stand alone outside my apartment. There I was, staring at the dark sky. Puffing smokes on my cigarette. My short gasps were noticeably heavy, it felt like my world just stopped before me. I’m favored with artistic skills and I do have a stable job where I am at ease with the working environment. I know I should reap some rewards but something sinks my heart. It somehow got me thinking of my aspirations towards the change of my career. Deep inside I’m dreaming of that big break as an artist and a writer.

There’s that annoying hint of dissatisfaction tugging my thoughts. I blame it on my attitude towards career handling. I compel myself to work harder than I am already doing, perhaps its just wasn’t hard enough for me. I am being too tough on myself, being my own worst critic. But I got reminded of one important lesson that I already knew. Yet, my intransigence is impenetrable to accept its sense wholeheartedly.”Humble beginnings,” we all should see its value and we should keep exploring until we bump into that remunerative fun. Fun because it’s the kind of work that you hardly get tired of doing. The fun that pays monetarily, I am not talking about the indecent shortcuts to make money.  I am talking about enjoying your source of income which is your subsistence.

I fear my mood swings, no! I feel threatened of my mood swings. It may not seem as terrible as I was younger but it is far from distinction. I’m tired of being cyclical and irresponsible but it’s obvious that I don’t know how to start and make it big yet. Self-awareness is the only solace I give to myself. It’s a temperamental gift that will introduce me longer to patience and perseverance. Even so, starting simple and careful will lead me to earn numerous small achievements. And will one day gain me the bigger success.